I’m a mess…

I always wonder why do I need to live? No one benefits my life, neither I. I’m always alone every time since I was a child. Then I seek love and accompany with the circles of friends that I have.
I always depend on them, that I forgot they’ll also leave anytime and I will be alone again.
They can’t live for me. They have their own life to run. I can’t always depend on them, my mess, it will just be my mess not ours.
I’m so sorry for a friend I messed up with lately. I don’t know how it became so disastrous to be with me. I think it will never be okay or safe for anyone to be with me again, cause I’m a mess. I’m a complete mess. A living proof of a nonsense breathing human created to occupy such place in this planet to do nonsense things and waste oxygen.